Just when she was starting to get on my good side, Heidi Montag has to get this crazy idea in her head that she wants smaller tits. You selfish bitch. From Life & Style:
“I’m desperate to go back to normal,” [Heidi] confides to Life & Style. “I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.”
Just a D or a DD? But then she’ll be just like all the other small-breasted freaks out there. How will anyone take her seriously?
Besides being unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing, “I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”
And while Heidi tells Life & Style she is currently shopping for a surgeon in South America, she worries that she’ll be trapped in this cartoonish body forever after the untimely passing of her confidant Dr. Ryan. “I feel trapped in my own body,” Heidi tells Life & Style.
Well no wonder she wants to go to South America for this surgery. No reputable U.S. doctor would ever reduce the size of a woman’s breasts. That’s just crazy. But with a suitcase full of American dollars, you can get anything you want in South America. My friend actually got an iPad installed in his stomach. It is the coolest damn thing you’ve ever seen. We watched a movie on it yesterday.